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Active Listening Is The Most Important Skill Of A Good Mentor!!

7 Habits of Highly Successful Mentors
 

 9 Important Features of Successful Mentors Attitudes and Styles

Be a friend

• Try not to be an authority figure

• Teach by being a role model

• Do focus on establishing a bond, a feeling of attachment, a sense of equality and mutual shared time

Have realistic goals and expectations

• Focus on the youth and his or her overall development

• Center your goals on the relationship itself, especially early on

• Emphasize friendship over performance throughout the relationship

Have fun together

• Many youth involved in mentoring programs have few opportunities for fun

• Having fun together shows your mentee that you are reliable and committed

•  Focusing on “fun” activities early in the relationship can lead to more “serious” activities later

Give your mentee a choice in deciding activities

• Give a range of choices of possible activities

• Create an “ idea file” together

• Listen

• Emphasize to your mentee that her or his enjoyment is important to you

Be Positive

• Offer frequent expressions of praise and encouragement

• Be encouraging even when talking about potentially troublesome topics, such as grades

• Offer concrete assistance in a way that builds self-confidence

Let your mentee have much of the control over what you talk about and how

• Don’t push- be patient

• Be sensitive and responsive to your mentee’s cues

• Understand that young people vary in their styles of communicating and their habits of disclosure

• Be direct in letting your mentee know that he or she can confide in you without fear of judgement or exposure ( exceptions are abuse or safety issues)

• Remember that  the activities you do together can become a source of future conversation

Listen

•  “Just listening” gives mentees a chance to vent and lets them know they can disclose personal matters to you without being criticized

•  When you listen, your mentee can see that you are a friend, not an authority figure

Respect the trust your mentee places in you

•  Respond in ways that show you see your mentee’s side of things

•  Reassure your mentee that you will be there for him or her

•  If you give advice, be sure it is focused on identifying solutions

•  If, on occasion, you feel you have to convey concern, do so in a way that also conveys reassurance and acceptance

•  Sound like a friend, not a parent

•  Be nonjudgmental about family information

Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship

• Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact

•  Understand that the feedback and reassurance characteristic of adult relationships is often beyond the capacity of youth

•  Allow yourself to recognize and appreciate the quiet moments that indicate you are making a difference

This is excerpted from the National Mentoring Centers publication- Building Relationships.